The Power of NO

“I am the lightning that changes the world one strike at a time.”

The Power of NOAfter months of introspection on my “life’s purpose,” this was the crystallized statement that I developed years ago and it still resonates with me big time.

Those of you who know me well know that I am a high-energy person in every way. Yet, I sometimes get flack for this statement because “lightning kills!” Well, yes it can. But I’d prefer to see it applied to blasting stories and beliefs that do not serve your authenticity, zapping self-criticism, negativity and fear, and destroying the other things that do not leave you feeling energized.

It takes courage to eliminate, remove, say “no,” put up boundaries and all of those blocking or zapping actions. Down deep, you want to please, serve, be liked, be appreciated, or even recognized. And that ‘violent’ act can seem selfish or unkind.

But let me reassure you that when you put an end to the things that drain you, you create room for the things that fuel you. And isn’t that also what lightning is? It’s energy in a focused form. Yes!! You deserve to be energized in a way that serves you. Because when you are firing with high-powered voltage, you win, and so does everyone else.

I invite you to take an inventory in your world of what you can say no to. This may shock you, but include relationships, activities, behaviors (yours) in this mix. Is there a friendship whose shelf-life has expired? Are you spending too much time doing activities out of habit vs. fulfillment? Are you showing up in a way that’s small or dysfunctional? Oh, endings. They can be hard, I get it. So go at your pace, in your way, and address this with gratitude and respect. For the past, present and for sure, the future — the future fulfillment, high energy and engagement that you and every one else so desperately deserve.

Having a hard time seeing the “gift” in the ending for them? Try this exercise. First, write down the gifts/benefits of saying to you. Then write down the gifts/benefits for them. This is not a “convince me” list for you to share; it’s about opening your mind to the perspectives that you may not have normally seen if you were stuck in martyr-ville.

Each day, explore setting a boundary or saying no to something that drains you, and notice how you are flooded with a feeling that’s so much better. Nature abhors a vacuum. So don’t worry that you will be left with no relationships, no time, no abundance. It’s amazing what unfolds when you are courageous enough to say no and choose YES to yourself in service of a bigger agenda.

The world needs your skills, talents, passion and authenticity. These things shine through only when you are energized from within!

Categories: Living Full.

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